ou guys, Léo has his first sickness. Im not gonna lie to you, it has been rough. Like hella rough. Everything I do to make him feel better seems like the wrong thing. To be fair I have been questioning myself since he was just a little blob in my belly, but this one is hard. He has never been much of a crier, but I can now say that I have heard him cry more in the past three days than the past six months. It’s heartbreaking, and it’s starting to break me a bit. I’ve been all business up until now. Check temp, give Advil every 6-8 hours as needed, saline spray, snot sucker, steam room etc. I feel like I have been doing all the things but it stays the same. I mean at least his fever has broken, but he is still not my happy guy. Today I had my second cry about the whole thing. It’s so hard to know if you’re making the right choices! I just want to take away all his pain and snot, and believe me I’m trying, but it’s just not working fast enough! So many questions. Am I giving too much medication? How often should I suction his nose? Am I irritating his nose too much? What sleeper should he wear? I don’t want him to be cold but also not too hot in case his fever spikes again. Honestly, my mind will not turn off! This morning he had a tiny bit of blood coming from his nose and I panicked thinking I had hurt his nose with the snot sucker. I know that it’s likely just from his nose being dry, but I’ve never seen him bleed before and I panicked. Enter my sister who responded with a very firm “you did NOT hurt him”. Thankfully that calmed me down, until the next time it happened and I felt bad all over again.
Now I know it sounds like I’m overreacting, and to be fair I kind of know I am. I mean he just has a cold and it could be much worse, but unfortunately that totally doesn’t help when I look at his poor, sad, boogery face. Making him feel better seems impossible, but I’m Mom and I should be able to take away all the bad stuff, no? To make matters worse, every thing I do to make him feel better actually makes me feel worse. The fact that when I wipe his nose he acts like I am punching him in the face does not exactly help. Like cmon kid, I even got you the fancy aloe and saline boogie wipes! To be completely honest he has a lot of boogers on his face simply because he hates getting his face wiped and I feel bad making him cry every 15 minutes. And using the saline and snot sucker? Forget it, you would think I was trying to suck out his soul! Marc has to hold down his arms while I hold his head, it’s absolutely pitiful. And then he cries and mumbles mamamama while I apologize and hold back my own tears. Listen, I know he is being dramatic and in turn I guess so am I, but it’s hard to see my happy little guy like this. I just love him ya know? We do our best to avoid them getting sick and I know you can’t avoid it forever, but the first one is hard. It’s especially exhausting since the only place he stays calm is in my arms. Dad tries to pick him up and he’s reaching and scratching for me almost immediately. It’s actually also sad for Marc who just wants to help. What can ya do though? A kid wants his mama when he’s sick. I feel like many adults would still like to have their mom around when they’re sick, am I right?
As I write this I am laying next to him for his second nap of the day, which is going on two hours. He’s snuggled up against me, snoring a bit, and I just wish I could be the sick one. We’ve quarantined ourselves to the house while he’s on the mend and luckily he is on the mend. No more fever just lots of snot. Oh and blood in his mucous which still makes me super upset but Marc keeps telling me it’s normal and I need to chill.
So do I have any advice for your kid’s first sickness? Not really, I mean just listen to the last few paragraphs…I’m barely getting through over here. Basically my child is a snotty mess and I have spent the last couple days worried if I should be spraying his nose while it’s bloody or just letting it work itself out. I still have no idea what the answer is. I was told the average cold lasts 10 days, a number that is not very reassuring on day 4. So if you need me over the next week you’ll find me with a baby on my lap surrounded by used boogie wipes, a saline mist bottle, a snot sucker, infant Advil and my cell phone with google pulled up trying to figure out how to cure my baby. If you need Leo he’ll be sitting on my lap smiling, playing with his blocks, and wiping his nose with his sleeve while wondering why mom is being so crazy.